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Even if I just an ordinary girl with sentimentality, I still could not escape from another's focus.

Hey look! A girl is walking toward me. That is! Who I do not like, and she does not like me, either. Her name is Vivian, a shining name.

"Hi, Jane! How's going on?"

"Uh...well, I..." I am always unspeakable.

"I guess...You are stuttering again, aren't you?" She showed me a smile.

I do not like her smile.

I feel angry.

When I saw another, no one helped me or tried to help me. Maybe they did not aware. Maybe they thought that the less trouble, the better.

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"Of course I know you aren't." Pheobe tried to comfort me.

"Why you didn't help me?" I gazed Pheobe, but she evaded my eyes.

"Well...you know that. She is popular. I don't want to offend her."

"So you let her offend me?"

Pheobe did not say anything.

"Okey, I got it. Our friendship is finished today." Light like a cloud, I murmured.

I become a man who has no friend.

Again.


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Did I mention that beforehand? Our school is a girls' senior high school. If I were a heterosexual male teenager, I would be very excited about entering this Canaan. Unfortunately, I am a girl.

What girls do in girls' schools? In fact, we are not very romantic like boys may dream about. Study is our first mission, even if somebodies like to put it last in their career plans. Developing the friendship with everyone is our second mission which I would like to shout "impossible!" to it. Our third mission, as well as an interesting one for the most of girls──label somebody and keep her away──is an almost brutal but very common phenomenon and popular exercise in the campus and classrooms.

Let's image how the girl grew from these kinds of schools would become. Yes, they may be intelligent and social, yet maybe mean and cruel as well depends on how much they understanding the two absolute Chinese truths: "a real woman lacks not in venom", and "there can't be two tigers in one territory." 

 


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Today is a beautiful day. If I could describe it with a color, I would use "purple". What a mystery it could be! It is just like a magnificent clean blue waterfall, or a horrible howl of a wolf in the midnight.

My name is Jane, a girl who is like any common girl walks on Tainan's streets. I am not special, not very pretty and fashionable, even not smart and clever. My imagination is all I have, which I can image I will become a great author one day. Is my dream ridiculous and fill with fantasy? Hardly are you wrong, or scarcely are you right. 

My family was poor, and be still not rich now. My father is a sales working in a small local business. My mother is a homemaker. I have a brother whom is called Tom. He is a student who studies at a university in Taipei, but as this generation knows, graduated students from Taiwanese universities in Taiwan usually could not find a job which can afford all their spending, especially in Taipei. Therefore, maybe these students will study a master degree, even try to gain a PhD. They may have another way to go, for instance, attending vocational training classes held by Taiwanese government, and do jobs which are not very focus on their degree.

However, I still have a dream.

The dream is not just standard units such as which in movies and soap operas. I want to be special, but I would not like to be too special to show my ungainliness.

And yes, I want to be fall in love with someone, but this thinking may lead me to an ordinary and boring future. I have to be careful...at least put it behind my first goal. Is it a good idea to write a romance? I still do not decide considering its possibility, or maybe...

"Jane, please don't zone out when you are in my class!" Mr. Lee said. He is our Chinese teacher, a boring but intelligent man. I like him.

"Yes, Mr. Lee!" I grumbled. 

Taiwanese high school's life is lonely and futureless. Every class lasts so long as if a century has gone, but we are still here. During the class, we cannot talking, writing, drawing, dazzling, watching outside the window, and sleeping. All we have to do is looking at our teachers, and nod and note. No enlightenment, no stories can be developed.

So miserable, right? But don't worry and cry for these, because rules are just rules.

The bell in the campus was rang. Silent cheers greeted it by the students in this class, even the teacher relieved. The classroom was gradually noisy.

"Jane, go go go! Let's go to play the piano!" A girl hailed. She is my best friend, Pheobe. She enjoys drawing and playing the piano. Every Friday before our music class, she would invite me to the music classroom, secretly. To do what? Playing the piano.

I am not able to play the piano. I play the violin. The special skill has been owned since I was in the kindergarten. I am not really good at it, even if I like it. Thus, I don't wish I could become a great musician one day. I just want to be a writer.

 


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